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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Dear Cold Cuts,

Jellyteeth here with a rather late check-in. Sorry to keep you waiting, hope you didn't mind.

ANYway. I'm so with you on the drudgery that is this season's Idol. There's a part of me that hopes when we get down to like 8 contestants, the voters deadlock every week over and over, because no one deserves to win. Who's there to root for in this bunch? I can't get excited about Beaverlox's love letters to Alanis. I'm already weary of Andy Fauxkey's crappy, schmaltzy female pop covers. And don't even get me started on that little gay Disney Channel reject kid - you know, the one who can't wait to celebrate his next birthday at a taping of Hannah Montana. Something funny happens whenever I attempt to focus on his zitty face - my vision gets blurry, then everything goes dark. I think it's because I fall asleep, but it's hard to say for sure.

I like the point you make earlier, about hair bands and how you'd like one to win. I'm all about voting for portions of contestants. Currently, I've got Siobhan's mouth at 3-1 odds to take it all. It kind of brings to mind the old logo for the Morton Downey Jr. Show, remember?




ANYhoo, Cold Cuts, I better get down to the business of watching this clusterfuck-fest that is fated to be Rolling Stones week. I'm betting that someone shitty takes a great song and makes it shitty. Who's gonna fail with Wild Horses? Who will think they're doing right by some gem like Miss You, when really they're just turning it into a fluffy Dee-Lite cover? Fabulous as that may sound conceptually, I've got my Debbie Downer face on for this slice of Idol.

I hope I'm wrong, Cold Cuts, I surely do. But I got this feeling, and this feeling ain't good.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love actually,
-Jellyteeth

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